Actual label instructions on consumer goods
On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
Some Swann frozen dinners : Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
On Tesco's Tiramisu desert:Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating
On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: Do not iron clothes on body
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery
On Nytol (a sleep aid): Warning: May cause drowsiness
On a Korean kitchen knife : Warning keep out of children
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use
On Sainsbury's Peanuts: Warning: Contains nuts
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chain saw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands